The Confession
by AcerbusEquinomin56
Summary: Time passes but she doesn't notice, eyes watch her but her fingers simply fly frustrated over the strings of her violin. And then, they have the audacity to interrupt her. Crack!fic. Kahoko is confronted by the boys as to who she really likes.


A/N: Hello everyone! Yeah…I know, long time no see. Yeah…there have been a lot of things going on (most of them in my head) that have been preventing me from posting anything, so please forgive me for that. But, even more problematic was the point that I just couldn't bring myself to write anything else. Sure, I had plenty of ideas to work with, but I ended up exhausting my creative energies and then…well…it didn't work out well. I ended up with writer's block so bad that I really couldn't think the moment my hands hit the keyboard…T_T

So, naturally, I rested and am recovering slowly. So…you'll have to give me a little more time to recuperate fully. I would like to thank my wonderful friends on this site for providing me with a treasury of conversation in the meantime while I regained my mind. Thank you!

This story is one that I had an idea for right in the middle of a conversation with RainbowMushrooms. I simply thought to myself (and ended up writing in the conversation) that it would be fun to write, so here it is! And so, naturally, I would like to dedicate this story to Yuki for her contributions to my taking back of mental stability. Thank you!

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The practice rooms were slowly emptying as the long day went on. It had been longer than most days, more so in work than in minutes. Everyone was tired and more than ready to leave, but one room remained occupied as the hour hand of the large circular clock passed by.

Kahoko Hino stood, still in position working away at the violin, as she furiously set herself to accomplishing an adequate rendition before the final selection fell on top of her. Her new violin, a farewell gift from Lili, was still foreign to her shoulder and hadn't quite warmed up to the skin of her neck. She regretted it.

The work continued…and continued…and continued until she was frantic and frazzled from her hair to her heart which was ready to start marching around the room if she didn't take a break. The sun was still somehow up and the hours had somehow slowed even if they are unrealistically perfect for what was to come.

There was a clatter of murmurs outside of the door before 5 people ended up falling into the room. The boys from the contest were all piled at the door way, even Azuma who had freakishly steady equilibrium. Kazuki was on the bottom, to be expected even outside of a pairing.

Kahoko barely gave them a glance before returning to her music…after all, she had been at this a loooong time and very little at that point was going to stop her from working. She continued without even stopping as the floored males righted themselves.

Kazuki was first to shoot over to the red-headed girl. "Umm…Kaho! We really need to talk to you!" Kahoko promptly ignored him. Kazuki shook her a little in a small attempt to get her attention, but because of his lack of knowledge as to what an angry violinist can do if interrupted he got a bow to the eye.

And once more, Kazuki ended up on the floor, this time thrashing around. Azuma blinked twice and sauntered over to Kahoko with his usual grace and patted her on the shoulder. "Miss Hino, we would likely to kindly request of you your attention…" Once again, the oblivion of Kahoko settled upon the room. Azuma was at the end of the barrel this time.

Unused to a lack of attention, Azuma reset his face into a dark, shadowy smirk and leaned over to her ear, whispering, "If you don't give us your attention, we'll have no choice other than to take it…and you…" Once again, the bow flew and Azuma ended up with an eye full of horse hair, however the blow was a little bit more forceful than the casual accident that befell Kazuki's ocular organ. The result was Azuma half way across the room.

Ryotaro hesitantly stepped forward (most likely because of Len pushing him into the room) and waved a hand in front of Kahoko's face. This had no effect whatsoever on her playing and did nothing to distract her at all. He blinked and sighed, walking back over to the door and patting Len on the shoulder in a gesture that said, "You're next."

Len briskly walked over to the obsessed musician with all of his usual coldness and opened his mouth. "Ka-" He hardly even got this syllable out before Kahoko began sawing away at the violin like she was building a log cabin. Her eyes looked very, very angry. Len backed away and the sawing ceased.

Keiichi was last in line and wobbled over to the music stand, pulling it away from Kahoko and amazingly, stopping her playing for a few moments, at which time Kazuki, now black-eyed Kazuki (hmm…sounds like a pirate name), jumped up and shook her at the shoulders.

"Kaho!!! Snap out of it!!!" Kahoko blinked quickly and looked around the room to see the four boys standing and Azuma still half across the room struggling to regain consciousness. She narrowed her eyes before widening them. "What? What is it?"

Kazuki sighed a breath of relief now that Kahoko had returned to some form of sanity and looked at the others in the room. Kazuki slowly prepared himself for the next statement, closing his eyes, with his hands still firmly planted on Kahoko's shoulders. She tried to shake them off to no success.

Kazuki opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Keiichi spoke abruptly. "Umm…we need to talk to you…about something…" Kazuki fell on the ground. "Keiichi! I was going to say that!" Keiichi shrugged with his regular lack of…everything in his eyes as Kazuki stood up again.

"Kaho! We need you to tell us-" He was cut off by Azuma who rose from the floor in between Kazuki and Kahoko. "Who do you like?" Kahoko widened her eyes as Kazuki began his normal hissy fit. "Azuma! I was going to say that!" Azuma blinked and let a few sparkles fall from his head. "Oh…I'm sorry Kazuki! I apologize." Azuma walked away slightly and then leaned up against a wall with all of the poise of a 60 year old biker.

Kazuki gulped as Kahoko looked around the room. "So…um…Kaho..." Ryotaro brusquely intervened and interrupted. "We just want to know which one of us you like. The suspense is starting to make us all go kind of funny in the heads. Look at Azuma! He has all the poise of a 60 year old biker!"

The named promptly straightened up with a turning up of his chin. But before Kazuki could say anything, a strange person in a cloud of thrift store sparkles that even eclipsed Azuma's appeared in the door way with a bazooka. With a genderless cry of triumph, the person fired a rocket of glitter at Ryotaro. The target was immediately hit and when the shiny dust cleared, Ryotaro looked as though he was the reincarnation of Liberace.

The person disappeared as their energetic monotone faded into the distance, "Never steal my lines or else you'll all end up like him!" Ryotaro slowly looked down at himself and with a gigantic movement of his hands swiped the sequins away. They departed like a mist of mosquitoes (Strangely similar to that of the soot sprites from a Miyazaki film) and Ryo returned to normal.

Kahoko blinked. "…how long have I been practicing…?" Keiichi slowly stated, "about…3 and 3/8 days…" Kahoko let her jaw drop a little before returning it to its rightful place…far away from the bottom half of Len. Kahoko slowly closed her eyes and thought, "I cannot believe that you just said that."

Acerbus blinks. "What?" Kahoko continued, "That you actually made a reference like that." Acerbus frowns. "Well, the rightful place isn't on the bottom half of Len is it?" Kahoko frowned, "I was more upset that you even made me think about that…" She shivered.

Kazuki looked worriedly at her. "Kaho, what are you doing?" She opened her eyes looked off to the side. "I'm…umm …talking to someone in my head…" Azuma stepped forward, "Does this person tell you to do things? Things that you don't want to do?" Kazuki blinked, "Azuma?! Where did you get those glasses?!"

Azuma, in turn, blinked as well and smiled. "Oh, you mean these? I've always worn them! No one ever noticed though. Thanks for noticing!" He quickly took them off and placed them in his pocket. Kahoko looked back to the present and tried to shrug the weirdness away from her.

"Okay! Wait! I don't even remember what you originally asked me!" Kazuki leaned forward. "Kaho…we want to know which one of us you like…" Kazuki waited for a moment and then raised his hands over head, "YES!!! I GOT THAT LINE OUT!!!" He then returned to his position of staring into Kahoko's eyes.

Kahoko frowned. "…I don't like any of you." Everyone's jaws dropped open…even Len. He quickly pulled a small book out of his shirt (like old women do with money) and flipped through the pages showing miniature pictures of everyone in the room's lives. The cover was mysteriously decorated with the words, "La Corda D'oro."

He pointed to a particular picture. "But…but! This series was angled so as you'd fall in love with me! Why aren't you in love with me?!" Kahoko spoke a strange sense of reality amongst the stressed look on her face. "Umm…Len, did the series ever once provide a single instance in which I've ever slightly been attracted to you?"

Len looked dumbstruck. "Umm…." Kahoko continued, grabbing the book from him and pointing to certain pages. "If anything, I'm in love with your music, not you. Therefore, if you would like for me to date your hands, then maybe I'd consider it. Of course, I doubt that you'd want me dating only certain parts of your body, right?"

Len blinked and suspiciously looked down for a moment before looking back at Kahoko. She narrowed her eyes and slammed the book in his face, sending him across the room and back into his regular coldness. Azuma was in the background stroking an imaginary beard. "Well, well, dating his well trained, muscular hands doesn't sound like too bad an idea…"

A strange smile arrived on his face as Ryotaro stared at him with a look mixed between fear and anxiety. "Are you right in the head?" Azuma half-laughed, half-hummed as his sparkles continued blossoming like all the rose backgrounds of a fallen June book.

Keiichi put his hands together and drew everyone's stares with a scarce muttering of, "I wonder which body part Bach is most like…" Ryotaro rubbed his forehead as he also muttered, "I'm surrounded by a bunch of loonies…"

Kahoko looked at Keiichi. "…I don't even need to say anything to that…" Azuma continued smiling, absorbed in his thoughts. Kazuki however, jumped up quickly. "But Kaho! Do any of us even have a chance?! Why can't you date any of us?!"

Kahoko slowly put her finger to her cheek before pointing to each person. She pointed at Len first (Len had regained his cold composure by now). "First off, you're an asshole and it's gonna take a lot more than fan fiction to fix that!" Len looked off to the side with a frown.

She turned to Azuma next. "You…are a freaky, freaktastic, freakazoidal, person…and you come onto me too much…and you're a stalker…and you're manipulative…and I don't even want to know what you thinking about right now…and you smell funny…but that's beside the point…" Azuma stopped smiling at the smell funny comment, but regained his guise after stepping a little closer to Len.

Kahoko turned to Keiichi. "As much as you love the cello and I am aware of this, there must be something else besides this that keeps you awake all night. Therefore I have concluded that you are a pimp." Keiichi turned around with all of the panache of a super-hero and faced the rest of the group in a new outfit.

He was decked out in a tight fitting purple suit, complete with silk jacket, platform shoes, a cane topped with a large faux diamond, a wide brimmed, purple, feathered hat and a large flowing cape that settled over his shoulders nicely. On his chest he wore a large letter P…everything else however was still plain old Keiichi. He didn't bother blinking, but continued with his regular monotone. "You guessed it, soul sister."

Kahoko nodded as Ryotaro was seen visibly shivering looking at Keiichi. Kahoko turned to him. "Ryotaro…you have a chance…but you are WAAAAAAY too straight. If you could find some way to become a little gay, then I might date you, but as you are now…you are way too straight…" Ryotaro slapped his forehead.

Kahoko turned to Kazuki last who looked up at her in fear. She smiled. "Kazuki…you're fun, nice, attractive and hyperactive. However, you're gay aren't you?" Kazuki widened his eyes before glumly nodding. Kahoko smiled. "I knew it."

It was at that point that Ryotaro suddenly shot forward and pulled Kazuki up off of the floor and bluntly began kissing him. Kazuki widened his eyes for a moment before slowly blushing slightly and fading into Ryo's arms. Ryo quickly pulled his tongue out of Kazuki's mouth before looking at Kahoko. Kazuki gasped for air as Ryotaro spoke "Is that enough gay?"

Kahoko stroked _her_ imaginary beard before nodding in approval. "Keep going, keep going…" Kazuki echoed this sentiment and repositioned Ryo's head parallel to his and letting every word billow with a sigh, "Yeah… Ryo, keep going…please…please, keep going…" Ryo smacked his forehead again before arrowing back into Kazuki's jaws. Azuma stood happily with a video camera as the saliva slowly dripped down the boys' faces.

Kahoko surveyed the room. She saw before her a gay, one attempted gay, a pimp, a pervert and an ass. She frowned and put her violin back in place. Len rushed over to her. "Wait, so you didn't give us your answer? Does that mean that you're already in love with someone else?!"

Believe it or not, everyone in the room stopped to look at Kahoko (even if it involved the author prying two people's faces out of each other) Kahoko sighed. "Like I said, _some_ of you have a chance, but at this particular moment, I just wish that everyone would leave me the hell alone so that I CAN CONCENTRATE ON MY MUSIC! THE NEXT SELECTION IS COMING UP AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF EVERYONE WOULD GET THEIR BALLS OUT SO I CAN PRACTICE!!!!"

A shocked silence entered the room. It emptied as Len slowly and softly stated. "…I think I love you…"

A/N: WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! Oh, that felt good to write. I honestly haven't written any fanfic in ages even though I've wanted to for such a long time…so this really does make me feel good…even if it is CRACK.

Yes…um…my references are kind of explanatory and I will end up revising this anyway, so I will probably add more to these author's notes in the end. Well, as everyone may have guessed, I am anti-Len and pro-Kazu and Pro-Ryo. ^_^ …Keiichi is just…kind of…there. And Azuma, wonderful, wonderful Azuma will only be used in my jokes so far as I know. ^_^

(This is one of the additions) Only after I wrote it did I realize the total irony of my joke about Liberace. I didn't even think about the point that Ryo and he both play the same instrument…my mind is a scary thing sometimes…^_^

Yeah…umm…the pimp Keiichi…I _think_ I created it…I'm not sure anymore…I DO know however that Pimp Keiichi was created during one of Infernum and my conversations, so it was one of us either way. Infernum is agreeing with me that I did create him though. (Infernum's Note: Indeed! Yes, quite sure, but then again I guess with both of us having such terrible memories, we'll never know -_-;;)

Yeah…Kahoko has a right to being disgusted…I apologize to Kahoko for making her think about that, but I am proud of her for showing Len who's boss with that book. You go Kaho! (Nodding in approval)

I actually wrote a tiny little script for this fic before writing it and then I EXPANDED it. It was so much fun…yeah…Oh! And I'm guessing everyone knows the cloud of thrift store sparkles person, right? Yeah…that's actually Infernum's description of me that I now use. It was originally in his Months with Kanazawa and Kazuki…read that. It's funny.

Yeah…umm the whole Ryo thing…yeah…He's TOO STRAIGHT!!! So, I gave him a reason to be gay. Meheheh. Everyone knows that fangirls want their men to be at least a _little bit_ gay…and Kahoko's a Fangirl…it rubbed off on her from Nami.

As for Kazuki…I just want him to be gay because it's more fun that way…but HE, at least, is not super straight. So, there!

…I hate Len. So, what? Do you want something? This is CRACK as in it's funny, so yeah. I do that to all of my least favorite characters in all of my CRACK fics by the way…mehhehheh…

Azuma is just one of those characters that could go either way, you know? Most people tend to make him sadistic though…but I think that there's more work to do with character.

And I bet Infernum kept getting a picture of Sokka stroking that beard whenever I kept referring to it…yeah…Infernum loves Sokka…but mostly that beard…that strange, strange beard…

(Infernum's note: What?! The Beard is funny as hell!)

What else am I supposed to talk about? ...Oh! I know! I just wanted to say that I don't make much sense at all! I probably will never make all that much sense, so don't look forward to logical thought in my CRACK writing ever! IT'S RANDOM AS IT SHOULD BE!!!!

And now, I hope you enjoyed it! Once more, it is dedicated to RainbowMushrooms! So, now, I say with a smile on my face for being a scary, scary author and someone who enjoys writing this crazy CRACK, adieu… (Slips on banana peel while finishing typing)

…and anyone that just got that reference deserves cheesecake!

Bye!

^_^


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